Could a vampire loose her sanity? Was it possible?

I stood up, and a car passed by the park. Don't let it be him. I saw a harassed-looking woman stick her hand out the window, and flick a cigarette out her window. It wasn't Edward, but I did see something else that made my stomach turn. The color of Alice's eyes. Light, Light gold. I felt myself going to pieces slowly. Animal blood. I saw Alice's eyes widen a fraction as she saw my eyes. A very vivid crimson. I had just hunted, right?

"Alice, why did you guys leave?" my voice cracked. Alice's face filled an expression I could only assume to be pained. I took a step closer to my used-to-be sister, "Alice, please tell me!" My voice broke off into a slight dry sob. I couldn't help it. Being around the Cullens' now brought back all the old pain. I used to blame myself for it-- them leaving. Then I decided that it was their fault, and these days, well, I didn't think of it at all. As long as I could. "I don't think that's my job, Bella." She bit down on her lip, and looked southward. I took a step forwards, tripping a little over my shoe. I didn't talk, though. Alice gave me her best I'm really sorry face, and darted off.

I was left wondering if I'd even seen her in the first place, or if I really had gone off the deep end.

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Sooner or later, I made my way back to the apartment. I used the front door this time. Janie let me in. I saw two men sitting on the couch. "Twins. Classy." I said in a low voice to my room mate. She gave me an impish smile, "You can have one if you want." I shook my head automatically. "Not interested?" she asked, then shook her head, putting her warm, human hand on my shoulder. I saw the goosebumps rise up on her arm. But she didn't pull away, "You need to get over him. He was ages ago. Get out there and have some fun. Forget your stupid ex. He was just some boy." Oh, if only she knew.

I smiled indulgently, shaking my head again. She shrugged, and went back to her dates. I didn't have to stay out there to be sure Janie would be having "fun" tonight. I wished she'd buy a hotel room for that. I made a quick entrance into my room, and grabbed my night gown. It was always good to look the part, even if I didn't sleep. I grabbed a brush, and my shampoo, making my way into the small bathroom. Once in there, I shrugged out of my outfit, dirty from sitting down by that tree. I locked the door. I can never trust Janie. She might send one of the boys in here. Within moments, I'd poured bubble bath, an turned on my radio softly. I faintly heard an old band-- one I listened to when I was human. The familiar screams of the lead singer made me feel a little more at home and comfortable.

I waited untill the water hit scalding level, and laid in the tub once it was. It didn't make sense. Why after a hundred and fifty years? Why did they leave in the first place? Why didn't they take me? I had a strange feeling of déjà vu-- I'd thought these things before. Having the Cullens back in my life sent me back in old patterns. I felt self-conscious. I felt sick. I felt like I was sucker-punched in the chest, and had heartburn at the same time. I was in pain. Usually, for a human girl, this amount of emotional distress would send her hormones flying, or cause her to break out horribly. For Me, however, I don't know what would happen. But the dull burning at the back of my throat made me think I should go hunting, or something. Maybe that would help.

It took me a while to realize that the water was now ice cold. Lovely. The music turned from the familiar band, to something slower. Much, Much slower. My heart will go on by Celine Deon. Even better. I grabbed my towel, and wrapped it around my body, sighing angrily while I shut the stupid radio off. Nothing was being very reliable for me today. My sanity, my music...

Before I left the bathroom, I changed into my sleepwear, and brushed my dark hair, blow-drying it thoroughly. I frowned at myself, cursing slightly. I looked a mess. Even for me. My expression seemed stuck as one of almost-anguish. And that wasn't fair for me. Why could they affect me like this? Why couldn't we just be done with it. New York was a big city. Big enough, surely, for both of us to go without bumping into each other. Then again, I didn't know if that was what I wanted.

Once I looked about ready for bed, I grabbed my dirty clothes, and dropped them into the hamper outside my room. I opened my door to a much more familiar room, a more comforting space. I actually decorated it much to my human memories of what my old room in charlie's house had looked like. I cringed internally. Charlie. Before I could dwell on past mistakes, I actually heard a faint knock at my door. "Who is it?" I asked, wary. Janie opened the door, seeing my sitting on my bed, and grinning. "Oh, you've got a friend here." At first, I thought Janie was going to put one of those twins in here, but I was wrong.

It was Edward. My lips pulled back. Janie had already left, and Edward joined me. He closed the door. Resentment, bitterness, and another feeling filled me, my sight almost went red. "What are you doing here?" I asked, almost beyond words. He put his hands out in an apologetic way, showing me his palms. "I needed to talk to you. If you don't want to believe me, then fine. Ignore me after tonight. Whatever you want, Bella. But you need to know." I deliberated slightly. That was enough for him to continue with his all-important story.

"Bella, we were keeping you safe, there was no other way." I snorted. Oh, so he expected me to believe this?  "Just listen. Alice had a vision. We'd become too conspicuous. You were safe, but only if we left." I shook my head slightly. This was too much. It's got to be some lie he concocted. "Otherwise the Crimsons were coming after you." Wait, Crimsons? I paused from my looks, and looked at my hands. I remember, all those years ago, there had been a fight, right? Aro had said..  he said.. If you can find these Crimsons, Please, don't hold back. What did they have to do with this?

Edward sensed my confusion, and shook his head, looking a little relieved that I wasn't lunging at him. "They've joined forces with certain humans. Hunters, as you might call them. "Alice had a vision of your.." He took a deep breath, looking pained, "The Leader of the crimsons-- you remember them, right-- He'd killed you." I shuddered involuntarily. Even as a Vampire, I could attract trouble from miles away. I didn't like realizing that.

"I can't believe it." I murmured softly, but he heard me, and shrugged slightly. He looked at me seriously. "You have to believe that I would never have left you if it didn't save your life. But, there's been a change, you're in danger again. That's why I'm back. Why we're back." He chuckled slightly, "Plus, everyone's been missing you horribly. Even Rosalie." Now, that, I doubted. Rose never expressed any kind of patience, much less much kindness, towards me. Why would things be different now? Edward must have noticed when I stopped moving. He shook his head, and sighed, "They're all really sorry, Bella. None of us wanted to leave." Sure.

Skeptisism was rising, and I couldn't really see his side of the story. All I could see now was spending year after year hoping he'd come back. I remember awaiting each holiday-- 'Maybe he'll come back on Christmas!', or 'Maybe on my birthday!'  It never worked that way. I was always crushed when I was left spending my days without him. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. Soon, a whole century of waiting for him passed. And I was still alone. That's when I gave up. "I'm not sure if I can trust you, Edward." I mumbled sadly, a hard edge to my voice. His expression hardly changed. Sad, to almost-anguished. "I know, I know." He sighed unwillingly, "I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed and fought. But I didn't think it would have made a difference."

I took a step towards my door as I heard Janie open her's. She'd be too preoccupied by the boys to notice my hushed conversation. I sighed. Edward then spoke again, his voice a bit harder. "Your room mate reminds me a lot of Jessica Stanley. Except.." I met his gaze as he continued, "Jessica's thoughts were all but harmless. This girl-- Janice Delgato is her name, right?-- is dangerous." He chuckled, "Leave it to you to share an apartment with a Crimson." I recoiled. I could hardly remember Jessica. At first, I didn't understand the comparison. But, when he spoke of how Janie thought ill of me, and was a Crimson, I unnecessarily took in a deep breath. "What?" I snapped, almost angry.

He quickly explained, "Her great-grandfather was the hunter that would have killed you. He was in charge of the crimsons at the time. Janie doesn't know if you're a vampire, for sure, but she's not stupid. She has her suspicions. You shouldn't continue your residence with her. She's not completely human. But you shouldn't leave.." he paused, but continued before I could speak, "You shouldn't leave untill you have a solid reason in her opinion. For instance, if you two fight, escalate it to the point of a full-blown screaming match. Pick a fight, if you must. But you need to get out of here. If you'd like, of course, I'm sure  no one would object to your staying with us.." He sounded hopeful as he continued. My expression stopped him. I controlled myself, and closed my mouth.

"I think you should leave." I said curtly, my voice sharp. He walked towards me, and passed my a piece of paper. Of course, his address. I know he was sorry. Or at least, I think I knew. But could I forgive him. He frowned as I shoved it onto my dresser. But my expression softened. I loved him. Despite everything he might have put me through, after years of sadness, I could get rid of the feeling. That bothered me. I walked him to the door, and right before I would have held out my hand for a handshake, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. I couldn't help myself. Now that I knew he was back, I didn't want him to disappear. But the fact he left was enough for me to want to have some alone time. Some time to regroup my thoughts. I felt Edward put his hands around my waist. Within moments, we still hadn't let go. But once I loosened my grip, he let go was well.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow." was what he said before disappearing out the door. I sighed, smiling girlishly to myself. That's when Janie-- Janice --walked out of her room. The twins followed her helplessly, but she didn't pay them any attention. I wondered what Edward had meant about her not being human. But the way those two men looked, disoriented and confused-- though utterly focused on Janie --only made the accusation more real.

First a Vampire for a boyfriend.
Then a Werewolf for a best friend.
What could Janie be?